Challenger International, Inc.        

Herd a good one lately?  Email us with your favorite joke, who knows yours might be our next joke of the week.

This could apply to several states this summer

May 15th - Just moved to Texas. Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts blended together. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying  on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home - in the lower half of this great state. I love it here.

June 15th - Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live  in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car.  What a  pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshipper.

June 30th - Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today.
Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing  for me.    Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th - The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat?  Too bad it's not a dry heat.  Getting used to it is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th - Fell asleep by the pool yesterday. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.) Missed two days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though: got to respect the ol' sun in a climate  like this.

July 20th - I missed Tabby (our cat) sneaking into the car when I  left this morning. By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, Tabby  had swollen up to the size of a beach ball and exploded all over $2,000 worth of leather upholstery. I told the kids she ran away. The car now  smells like Kibbles and cat poop. No more pets in this heat!

July 25th - Dry heat, my ass. Hot is hot!! The home air-conditioner  is on the fritz and AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me  he needed to order parts.

July 30th - Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1,500 in danged house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did  I ever come here?

Aug 4th - 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today.  It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to about 90. Stupid repairman peed in my pool. I hate this damn state.

Aug 8th - If another wise ass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?",  I'm going to tear his throat out. Damn heat. By the time I get to work  the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell  like roasted *#%@!*% Garfield!!

Aug 10th - The weather report might as well be a damn recording:
Sunny & Smoldering hot!! It's been too hot to even have sex for two damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this barren damn desert?? Water rationing has been in effect all summer, so $1,700 worth of cactus just dried up and blew into the pool. Even a cactus can't live in this damn heat.

Aug 14th - WELCOME TO HELL!!! Temperature got to 123 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the DAMN windshield out of the Lincoln. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $1,500 house payment to bail me out of jail.

Aug 30th - Worst damn day of the damn summer. I'm not leaving the house. The damn monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier than HELL!!! The Lincoln is now floating somewhere in Mexico with
its new $500 windshield.

That does it - we're moving back to New York for some peace and  quiet.

Phone: 713-896-4397 / Toll free 800-227-9912                       Fax: 713-896-4447 / Toll free 800-860-1304